Written by Pamela K. Orgeron, M.A., Ed.S., BCCC, ACLC, Author
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NKJV)
“18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
Jude 7 (NKJV)
“7 as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.”
Author’s Note: In this article after discussing God’s perfect plan for sex, I will look at the different types of sexual sin identified in the Scriptures. I will also discuss the false teachings about these sexual behaviors that are rampant in today’s culture and include Scripture and scientific research to support why these behaviors are both immoral and unhealthy, respectively. My beliefs do not fit with the popular culture. My beliefs line up with God’s beliefs recorded in The Holy Bible. I pull no punches because my call is to warn every person possible of God’s wrath to come for those who fail to accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.
God’s Design for Sex
Genesis 2:24-25 (NKJV): “24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Shameless oneness is the biblical foundation for sexual intimacy. In an ideal situation, when a couple gets married, the man and the woman are both virgins. They have never been sexually united as one with anyone else in their lives. When they are married, their spiritual union is sealed with intercourse. (McPherson, 2001, pp. 16-17)
Is sexual intercourse the ultimate goal in a marriage? Or is there more than the physical act required to have a fulfilling sexual relationship in a marriage? A lack of proper sex education; poor communication skills; past sexual abuse or experience; and, unhealthy perceptions in one or both spouses, such as a negative body image, low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority, superiority or unresolved anger towards the mate can result in unfulfilled sex in a marriage relationship.
Sexuality involves more than a physical act of intercourse. Sexual identity, sex roles, sexual orientation, sexual behavior and sexual values make up a person’s sexuality (Marcum, 1990). Sexual identity, also called gender identity, refers to an individual’s subjective sense of oneself as male or female. Sex roles, also called gender roles, are the collective body of attitudes and behaviors that a culture accepts as appropriate for a man or a woman. Sexual orientation, or sexual preference refers to whether a person is homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or ambivalent. Sexual behaviors, such as coitus and masturbation, can produce erotic gratification. Not until the physiological, behavior, attitudes and feelings are all in sync can sexual functioning be considered healthy in an individual. Furthermore, what an individual sees as a sexual problem is culturally influenced. Sexuality is not value free.
Christian psychology supports God’s view on sex. In accordance with Scripture, one common theme found in the literature of Christian psychologists is that sex belongs only in the context of marriage. Why? Here are the reasons given:
- God’s plan is for one man and one woman to be bonded in marriage in all areas, including sexuality.
- Danger exists in playing around, whether premarital sex or sex with someone other than your spouse. Unplanned pregnancy with the wrong person can devastate individuals and couples. Some sexually transmitted diseases can be deadly.
A second common theme is that sex belongs in every marriage. The consensus is that a man and his wife should have intercourse often enough for both partners to feel fulfilled sexually. In the book The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love, Tim and Beverly LaHaye (1976, 1998) identify how sex can be fulfilling to both the husband and the wife. For the husband, sexual intercourse meets his physical need for sex, fulfills his manhood, enhances his love for his wife, brings contentment that can reduce friction in the home, and provide’s life’s most exciting experience. Sexual intercourse offers the wife in a marriage the opportunity to fulfill her womanhood, the reassurance that her husband loves her, satisfies her body’s need for sex, relaxes her nervous system, and when consummated to orgasm appropriately, sex also offers her the ultimate thrilling experience in life.
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